Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Posts I have to Write!!

The Great Potato (and the subsequent Mexicans and Korean)
The Greatest part of the Great Gatsby (how many greats can you use?)
My Haircut
The Duck Pond
The Running Through History Informational Meeting

oh! And sorry for missing Frances awesome lynx signing party!!! it was me mommy's birthday, so I went shopping with her--Lillian, Annsley, and Ashley--that is not the last good-bye party y'all will be having!! And I promise I'll be at the other ones, hope y'all understand :)

Sunday, April 26, 2009

THE CHEESE MAN




Ok, so, as a lot of y'all know, my family has this... kinda strange obsession with cheese. We get our cheese at this place called Alons (which I was just describing to Emily an Frances this Friday--was it this Friday?) Anyways, the cool thing about getting your cheese there was that, initially, the guy who gave you your cheese legitimately looked like a mouse. And he had this guy working under him who also looked like a mouse, only the Checloslovachian kind because he couldn't speak any English. Anyways, so this guy knew EVERYTHING there is to know about Cheese. Like, he would go on and on about how they would let the cheese get ripe, and what kind of animals they got it from, and all the different laws about importing cheese into the country--it was great! But then one day he disappeared. We didn't see him for a couple of months except once when he was explaining something to his counterpart. After that the Checlooslovachian mouse took over. What's even sadder is eventually the Checloslovachian mouse went away too, and now we're stuck with a markedly un-mouse like woman who looks like she's more interested in the peircing at the tip of her nose than in her customers. It was a very sad time for us, as you can imagine. Being cheese freaks, we like our cheese to be given to us by people who are as freaky about it as we are. Well, this weekend, about a year after Cheese Man's last appearance, I decided that I didn't want to get any of my homework done (bad idea), and that instead of studyng for a Latin AP (piff! Who needs to do that??) me and my mom should go picnicing at the duck pond!! (which is, by the way, another blog entry for another day). On our way there my mom had a stroke of genius in suggesting that we step into Whole Foods and get a snack to go along with our books we recently purchased at Barnes and Noble (so... Frances was entirely right when she said my family is obsessed with books and cheese). So we go into the place, and we're looking around, mostly at all the macaroni and cheese, and all the sudden we stumble on their sad excuse of a cheese isle, and we're trying this grotesque cheese, when there's this voice behind us that's like, 'hey I know you--you used to shop at Alon's a lot didn't you?' AND IT'S THE CHEESE GUY!!!! yay! So, we asked him how he was doing--and he said he was doing pretty good, that he'd left Alons because it was a change that needed to be made (they wouldn't make him a partner even though he was like the smartest/oldest guy they had in there), but that he got paid more anyways at Whole Foods although the days were longer (they work until ten o'clock at night!). He said h did miss Alon's though, the way it used to get pretty insane in there on Saturdays. We said we'd missed him, and that we hoped we'd seen him again sometime, and then cheese man went off again to do something more with cheese. It was so weird to see him in a different outfit though! Cheese man has this kind of fuzzy look about him (like a mouse) with whiskers hat come out of his ears, and he used to wear this white smock at Alons and a white hat. Well, at Whole Foods he was wearing a red jacket and a red hat--which was totally different in the extreme. Anyways, it was really cool to see him again!

Friday, April 24, 2009

My Dentist Appointment...

dumdumdum...

So, why I'm writing about my dentist appointment is because my dentist, being rather old and getting on in years (he used to service my dad when he was a little kid--and he hasn't aged... at all... we suspect black magic), decided that he should become only a part time dentist and spend the rest of his life with his troublesome grandchildren, who usually come in and yank at the chords while he's trying to brush your teeth (very disconcerting). So he had to move from his old place in Peachtree Battle Shopping Center (since the rates went up and any place that's any good has had to move!! stupid Peachtree Battle people...) to a new place downtown in this ugly mechanical looking buildling. Talk about the little guy getting pushed out! *how I cry* (my title!! ooh, what now!) Anyways, so, I was in his office, and it's all grey and cold, and the nurse who'd been with him ever since I was a baby wasn't doing my teeth--it was some other lady, who was all grumpy cuz she wanted to go home. And I missed the other nurse so badly because I've never had anyone else do my teeth for me except for the last time when I came in and someone else did it that time too--only they were nice! Anyways, this lady ended up being nice too, she just needed to get out of there, because if she didn't in time her day care center would charge her A BUCK A MINUTE to keep her kids! Can you believe that??? Anyways, so, I was sitting there on the chair, thinking about the old dentist office and how nice it used to be, and I remember my language arts teacher in sixth grade saying that he told us all these stories (because he told a lot of stories) about random people because he wanted to keep their memory alive forever, so that they'd never die, and that we should do that too with the things we really liked, kind of immortalizing them, you know? So, the old dentist office: (I shall describe it, to your great sagrin (is that how you spell that?))

The waiting room was entirely done in pink, save the fake palm tree leaning lopsidedly against the corner next to the doorway down the hallway. The hallway was where all the dentist rooms were, there were only three, filled with little green easy chairs with headrests on them, and lots and lots of wires poking everywhere. The cielings, which were made out of the cardboard our school's cielings are made out of, were rotting slightly, and they gave off a nice musty smell that dampened the overall affect of listerine that the place had gradually come to accumulate.
Behind the welcome desk was a lady named Tracy. She doesn't work with them anymore now that they've moved to the bigger office cuz she got fired. She was always in a bad mood, but that's only because she'd been in a crash and gotten wip lash that'd never fixed right, so she had to get a steel plate in her back and constantly be on pain killers for five years straight. But when you got her on a good-pain killer day, she was very nice, and she used to keep little pictures drawn by her children all around her little walk in cubicle, that you could see as you took different forms to fillout from her through the opening from the cubicle into the waiting room. The waiting room always had little baby books mixed in with People magazines, but you never had to wait long, because Sherry, the nurse I was so used to seeing, would come and get you after a few minutes, and take you down the long hallway. You would pass, on your way to the seat of green doom, this little cupboard which was their form of an employee's lounge. It had a little cylinder filled with instant creme for coffee, and a microwave that looked like it'd been unplugged since the 1980's. Then she'd sit you down in the green chair. The chairs were all tinged green, and the light she pulled over your head to look into your mouth was really cracked, but tinged yellow. There were always landscapes on the walls, really bad ones that you couldn't quite make out but which were somehow comforting when you were getting a root canal (though that might have just been the laughing gas). My mom usually came in with me though, when I was little, to get her teeth done first to show me that it wasn't scary. And I would wait with her in the room, instead of the waiting room, because there was only one nurse in the room and she didn't mind, and of course Dr. Bodner (that's my dentist's name) didn't mind either, and Tracey probably didn't really care much. While I was waiting for my mom, I would sit in this little alcove underneath the white countertop that the dentist used to put x-rays of your teeth on and models of teeth and stuff like that, and always little pamphlets about how gengivitis was bad. The little alcove had one side, the side the patient could see, whitewashed, but the otherside, the side no one could see unless they were in the alcove, was still wooden, and had little creases in it from where the fake wood had been fitted together. I had this little pouch of cars I kept with me, and I used to drive these miniature cars up and down these cracks in the wood until it was my turn to get my teeth done. Sometimes I would play with beanie babies too, or fiddle in my mom's purse. They were the same cars I would play with in the cracks of the sidewalk outside La Madeliene's before it went out of business, and I still have them :)

Then they would clean my teeth and tell me (usually) that I had some sort of problem and should come and see them again. And I remember one time they let me take home a Mr. Sippy (the thing that sucks all the drool out of your mouth, in case your dentist was particularly unimaginative and never gave it a name--you do have to name things, you know, when you're about to stick them inside a kids mouth--just don't name green beans, like my dad did--I would get to attached to them and he'd make them dance, and then I was like, "like hell I'm going to eat that!")

They were always very nice and now the place's gonna be turned into some fancy restaurant, but I figured I had better write down that little alcove before I forget all about it. I don't want to forget about it, you see. Even if I do hate the dentists.

The Easter Guy

A ukulele! (that's how you spell it dammit!!)


So, on Easter day, me, my aunt, and my mom decided to go and visit the statue of liberty--cuz what else do you do on easter day? And it was thirty degrees out, but I'd promised myself that I'd wear nothing but dresses for new york--so I wore my little strawberry one. It's blue, does up in the back, and has... yeah, strawberries on it. (don't think of Desdemona's handkerchief). The only problem is, as I said before, it was thirty degrees out and we had to wait in this long line right next to the sea, with that wonderful sea breeze wipping us about at like a million miles an hour for like... twenty minutes before the next ferry came to take us over to the statue of liberty. The wind was so bad it kept on blowing my dress up so I had to hold it down, but I refused to zip up my jacket because it was springtime and I wanted to look springy and not emo like all the smarter New Yorkers around me. We were in a long, windy line, you know, one of those with the ropes that twist you round in circles until you come to the end. and next to this line there was this druggy guy, and he had this little lucalali (spelling?) with him and looked like he hadn't showered in about eighteen months and slept in the open bathrooms at central park. But, he was totally drugged so he didn't really know the difference, he just kinda kept on singing. My aunt said she'd seen him there the last time she'd come (about six months ago). he'd been in the same spot (apparently she likes visiting the statue of liberty even though she's from Canada). So... we were sitting there, me freezing my butt off while trying to hold my dress down (I don't know if I've been calling it a skirt or a dress this whole time, but it was a dress, I just get those two confused, sorry). So the guy stopped singing and was like, "look at that girl there in line--she makes it look like it's summer, I'm gonna sing about summer," and I was like, "who me?" cuz the barriers for the line were kinda thin so even though we were two rows into the line we were still close to the little wall at the beginning of it, where he was sitting. And he was like, "yeah!" and so, he sang about summer, with his little yucalali (notice the spelling keeps changing), and then he was like, "where are you from?" and I was like, "Georgia," in this horrible southern accent that made people turn around. You can picture it in your head right now... or, hear it. Yeah, it was that bad. and he was like, "allright! Now I'm gonna sing about comin from Georgia!" (and note, I was the only person in the line he picked on... why... why me?) so he sang about Georgia, "whether comin from Savannah or the Stone Mountain land..." it was a great little song for coming up with it on the spurr of the moment, and he seemed to know a lot about Georgia's geography, which was kinda creepy. Anyways, it actually kinda made my day, seeing as I was freezing my butt of and scared my dress would flow away, but at least I got two songs written for me out of it :) Yay! Thanks easter guy!!

Monday, April 6, 2009

On Second Thought

Apparently a lot of esoteric stuff is Hindu.

Anjali...

Arcaneness is Scary!!

Frances, what are you trying to do to me? Screw my mind over???

The Little Baseball People Below

They really creep me out!!
What the hell is that??
aaah...